Friday, July 30, 2010

Ling Liong Sik

Hakim: Hello? Mengapa tak jawab?
Ling:Wa? Lu cakap sama wa?
Hakim:Yalah.. lu.. i mean you! Yes. What do you plead to this charge of cheating the whole Cabinet of the Government of Malaysia?
Ling: Ohh.. I thought you referring the question to my ex-boss. Er.. can you ask my ex-boss?
Hakim: Aiya.. wa lesing sekali ah.. i mean.. do you understand proseedoor or not? Now you are here, you answer. Tomorrow if that mamak here, then he answer. You do not answer for him. Aiya.. chee seen one!
Ling: Ah.. ok.. ok.. no problem bro.. i mean Yang Arif. I answer.. you wait a while i think..
Hakim: Faster la.. i have to leave shortly to kutip sewa.. you think i got only one shophouse ah?
Ling: Actually i got more..
Hakim: Hello! You want me to charge you for contempt of court?!
Ling: Sabar.. calm down.. i admit, i cheated people.. but not that much what. Samy even more. My ex-boss no need to say la.. he even smarter. He uses all people names. So no one dare to expose cos afterwards expose sendiri also. I stupid go and use my own name alone.
Hakim: You stupid i agree. Ok.. mitigation.. what you want to mitigate? Quickly, Fai Teee.. aiya.. so slow one.
Ling: As i said Yang Arif. Only few sen per square feet. Maybe i did not use the calculator properly. You know la i long time not working as doctor.
Hakim: Enough.. so you admit yah? Ok.. i now mete out your jail sentence. Hmm... wait ah.. i calculating each square foot. Ok... you go to jail 20 years.
Ling: Waaa.. 20 years ah?? How come same like Anwar Ibrahim one?
Hakim: Woi.. hello... now i judge or you judge?
Ling: How come no jury one here? Cannot be like USA? Then got reality drama...
Hakim: Woi Ah Chong! You don't make me Four Kuang (boil fire) ok?
Ling: Ok, ok.. i appeal
Hakim: Of course la you can appeal. You think what. We so zalim one ah? We got law mah.
Ling: Usually appeal can reduce how much?
Hakim: Depends how much you repay.. i mean how much you repent.
Ling: Oh.. hehe.. i can repent alot Yang Arif. Also another thing i ask you ah.. you see i got take kuai mui party-party like gila or not? You see i got touch-touch DPP or not? You see i got take kepala lembu and drag or not? See? I very civil minded and well-behaved. So, i should not get fine more than RM1,000.
Hakim: How i know you not do? Your house got camera ah?
Ling: You see Malaysia-Today where got about me?
Hakim: I don't read blog. I read Utusan la. So i won't know much la. Ok.. i trust you.. you see the DPP afterwards. I know you don't touch one. But please offer bit more ah. Cmon la.. you olang ah.. makan bosak-bosak.. we hakim got what?
Ling: KauTim! Toceh-toceh.. darling.. please.. say toceh to the good hakim. Both of you too (pointing to sons).

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